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Writer's picturecocoy montenegro

Changing Your Self Talk


Last week I wrote about The Secrets of Sabotaging Your Success, which is basically “Where Focus Goes, Energy Flows.” What you think about, is what you become. If you focus on “bankruptcy” or “don’t lose a turn” like my husband did when he was on Wheel of Fortune 14 years ago…then that is exactly what you’ll receive. The trick is to change your self talk!


How you talk to yourself matters. The things you say to yourself have an impact on who you are and what you become. Unfortunately, sometimes people grow up in a consistently negative environment. The people they are surrounded with are negative, the things that happen to them are negative, and pretty soon…they don’t know any other way of life than to be negative. They think negative thoughts about themselves, they think negative thoughts about others. I remember a family member tearing apart some of my friends…and I remember thinking how odd that was, because my friends were really nice, good people. But someone who regularly “bathes” in negativity (whether they wanted to or not) views the world and everyone around them through this negative lens.


What’s interesting, is when these “negative” people are paid a compliment, they automatically kick it out because it doesn’t agree with their negative world view. You can easily spot these people because they are the ones that when you say “You look absolutely stunning!” and they respond with “…but you can still see my rolls of fat…” or something else that puts themselves down. They are uncomfortable with the compliment, because it doesn’t match the negative view they have of themselves.


When I begin exposing my clients to positivity and ask them to step in a circle of confidence and love, then they begin to feel the difference between negativity and positivity. This is much in the same way you can’t really appreciate the difference between light and dark, if all you’ve ever known is “dark.”


As a hypnotist, I listen to how my clients express their desires about “what it is they want,” and they almost always answer the question in terms of “what they don’t want.” They are unaware of the negativity in this, until I start asking, “What would you rather have?” or “How can you express that more positively?” Once they see and feel the difference between the positivity and the negativity in their words, then they can begin the process of changing their self talk.


Changing your self talk is not easy, but there are a few easy ways to get started. The first is with “gratitude.” Expressing what you’re grateful for is a fabulous way to get yourself focused on the positivity in your life. What are you grateful for? Who are you grateful for? Answering these simple questions will get yourself on course to begin manifesting a better life for yourself.


Another positivity game changer, is to play the “I love _________ because…” game. “I love my house because it protects me from the weather.” “I love my big nose because it makes my face memorable and because it helps me smell my grandmother’s sauce.” “I love my car because it’s comfortable, and it takes me back and forth to work.” Write 5-10 sentences every day, and notice how you begin to look at yourself, your friends, and your material possessions differently.


If you’re interested in learning more about changing your self talk, I’m offering a self-hypnosis / life coaching workshop called “Learn How To Hypnotize Yourself and Conquer The Critic Within.” This is a 6 week workshop, that will focus in depth on your existing belief systems on love and relationships, money and finances, and body and self image. You’ll see where your beliefs came from, and begin to write suggestions for yourself so you can change them. At the end of the 6 weeks, you’ll walk away with a self-hypnosis recording completely customized to help you become the next best version of yourself. The workshop will meet every week for 6 weeks via Zoom beginning Wednesday, April 5th, 7:30-9pm Eastern. For more information or to sign up, please visit: www.daretothinkdifferently.com/ctcw

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