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Writer's picturecocoy montenegro

Keeping The Romance Alive


I spent last week in Las Vegas attending an Attraction Mastery class. It was a fabulous class! I learned a lot. One of the things that sparked my interest, was the 2 of the attendees were taking the class because they were looking to “upgrade.” That means they are no longer interested in their current spouse/partner, and looking to get themselves something new.


I vividly remember how felt about my partner towards the end of 2015. I had given that relationship everything I had, and I just knew that neither one of us was going to grow and thrive like we deserved if we stayed together. And yet here I am, less than 2 weeks away from getting married, wondering “What the heck are we going to do after we say ‘I do’ to keep the love alive?”


One of the biggest takeaways from the class, was that relationships that start with “fun” are likely to last. That means taking the pressure off both of you, and just enjoying each other. I heard this and breathed a sigh of relief, because Doug and I did that. We met for lunch on our first date and determined that neither one of us were serial killers, and then planned another fun date at the local botanical gardens followed by a museum trip. We just kept having fun. Thankfully, we were in our late 40’s/early 50’s, so we could take “having children” off the table.


Where we live now, we are surrounded by couples of all ages, but the one thing I see in the happiest of these couples is that they are having fun. They enjoy each other’s company, and they are constantly finding fun things to do together, whether it be dinner with friends, cruises, motorcycle rides, or having drinks on the porch at the end of the day.


If you are not as happy in your relationship as you once were, or even thinking of “upgrading,” take a moment to remember why you connected in the first place. The longer couples are together, the harder it is to be the same person you were when you met 5, 10, 15, or 20+ years ago. Think about the ways you had fun together when you met, and if you didn’t have fun together then, think about ways you can have fun now.


Here are a few ideas:


  1. Attend a sporting event. The Super Bowl might be over, but there are plenty of other sporting activities you can enjoy, including arena football, golf or roller derby.

  2. Attend a festival. If you like music, find a music festival. If you like food, find a food festival. If you enjoy history, find a historical re-enactment broup or Renaissance/Medieval Faire.

  3. Museums. I’ve enjoyed art museums all over the world, but I really enjoy finding oddball museums as well. I enjoyed the Freakybuttrue Peculiarium in Portland, OR, as well as The Graveface Museum in Savannah, GA, or The Bicycle Museum in Pittsburgh, PA, or the Kazoobie Kazoo Museum in Beaufort, SC.

  4. RoadsideAmerica.com This sort of ties in to #3. I found this website while doing comedy, and enjoyed visiting the weird attractions and memorials across America. When I went to Washington State, I visited the memorial for the first monkey to learn sign language, a gas station shaped like a tea pot, and my favorite, I visited The Church of God in Zillah, WA. The Church of God-Zillah. Get it?

  5. Nature. Enjoy the outdoors? Plan a trip to a national park, or a picnic at the local park.

  6. Theme Parks. We are blessed to have a lot of choices in Florida! Enjoy riding the rides, or enjoy the people watching.

  7. Christmas Lights - I know it’s a little late (or a little early, depending on your perspective) to see some Christmas Lights, but that is one thing that Doug and I really enjoy doing during the holidays.


I hope this gave you some ideas on how to really reconnect with your partner. If you can keep the fun alive, you can keep the love alive.



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