I saw the movie “Flashdance” when I was 14 years old. It’s about a sexy woman who is an exotic dancer by night and a welder by day. It’s the same movie that propelled Jennifer Beals into stardom overnight, while the real dancer in the movie, Marine Jahan, became a trivia question. One of the best scenes in the movie is where the main character is performing a chair dance on stage, and reaches up to pull a cord so that a bucket splashes on her as she dances to “He’s A Dream” in a lacey teddy. Dancing aside, it’s the best butt cleavage you’ll ever see for a movie that came out in 1983. I had been taking tap, ballet, and jazz dance lessons for 10 years, and I remember thinking that my dance teacher, Mrs. Scudder, was probably never going to teach us how to dance like that.
A few years later, Madonna graced MTV with a chair dance to “Open Your Heart To Me.” We all had to relearn anatomy in 1986 because of all the things she “opened” in that video, her heart wasn’t one of them. My dance teacher Mrs. Scudder did not rise to the occasion that time either, refraining from teaching the daughters of white middle class suburbanites how they might earn additional money in college.
I had forgotten both of these sexy chair dances until the dance studio I’ve been taking dance lessons at offered a“Bored in the House” sexy chair dance class. The dance instructor offering the class has a contagious enthusiasm for dance and a clear and simple teaching style that I really like. She offered a free preview of the choreography. After seeing it, I damn near talked myself out of taking it. I didn’t have the right chair. I can’t move that fast. I can’t lift my leg that high. My hips don't wobble. I’m going to ruin my floors sliding that chair all over the floor. And the final straw! I had just lost 30 lbs and was not going to seductively snack on a cheesy poof per her carefully constructed choreography. I kissed my dreams of Flashdance chair dancing goodbye, closed my heart to Madonna and said “this is WAY past my comfort zone.”
The next morning, I started thinking about other things I’ve done that were WAY past my comfort zone.
In 1987, I majored in Music, with no idea what I was going to do with such a major.
In 1995, I moved to Florida to be with a guy. I had no friends or a job.
In 1997, I started a business with $200 and got married.
In 2002, I performed stand up comedy and improv for the first time.
In 2009, I recorded a comedy CD.
In 2016, I got divorced. I also got my first tattoos.
In 2017, I filmed my comedy show in front of 1000 people…a week after my mother passed.
In 2018, I let this guy named Doug that I’d been dating for 3 months, move in with me. (He’s still with me!)
In 2019, Doug and I went on a spectacular 3 week trip to France, Spain, Italy, Monaco, Egypt and Jordan. We were in The Middle East!!! And I’m scared of a 6 week chair dancing class?
Thankfully, I've studied Neuro-Linguistic Programming, created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in California in the 1970s. Bandler and Grinder believed that by studying the thought and speech patterns of exceptional achievers, anyone can acquire those skills and obtain similar results. Basically - what you think about, is what you become. In order to do this, I needed to figure out WHY I felt a sexy chair dancing class was past my comfort level. So I wrote down “my beliefs,” which are as follows:
I’m awkward and not graceful.
I don’t have the body of a dancer, so I’ll just look stupid when I try it.
My shoulder injuries will prevent me from doing the dance correctly.
I can’t possibly be sexy and funny at the same time.
I can’t handle people thinking I’m desirable and…(little cringe)…SEXY.
Somewhere in my past, I got the signals that “I’m not sexy” and I BELIEVED IT enough so now it’s my reality. If I continue to think these beliefs, then it's likely I'll never be successful taking my chair dance class. Using NLP techniques, I can break down the existing belief and replace it with a belief that is encouraging instead of discouraging.
For example:
Instead of thinking: I’m awkward and not graceful.
I think: The only reason I'm awkward is because I never learned how to be graceful.
Instead of thinking: I don’t have the body of a dancer, so I’ll just look stupid when I try it.
I think: So what if I look stupid? I’m in this class to learn.
Instead of thinking: My shoulder injuries will prevent me from doing the dance correctly.
I think: I’ll bet there’s an alternative move I could learn that would work.
Instead of thinking: I can’t possibly be sexy and funny at the same time.
I think: There are numerous comedic actresses that are sexy and funny at the same time: Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, Marilyn Monroe, and numerous others.
Instead of thinking: I’m not desirable and…(little cringe)…SEXY.
I think: I am desirable and even if I'm not sexy now, I can learn how to be SEXY and this class will help.
My final thoughts: I’m just going to try on this new sexy chair dance persona and see how I like it. If nothing else, perhaps I’ll pick up something I can use in my comedy show. I went ahead and signed up for the class…nervous…but armed and dangerous with my “I CAN LEARN THIS” attitude.
The result?
I had my first class last night, and I was stunned at who I saw dancing in the mirror. This strong, confident, empowered and dare I say SEXY woman appeared. It wasn’t Jennifer Beals, it wasn’t Madonna, it was a new, empowered me! I stepped out of my comfort zone once again! I'd like to believe my efforts would've made Mrs. Scudder proud.
When I told the dance teacher that I didn’t want to eat a bag of cheesy poofs because of the weight I had lost…she recommended seductively snacking on baby carrots.
Challenge accepted! All I have to do now is talk Doug out of removing that bucket of water over my chair…
If it's time to update your beliefs, call Wings Hypnosis at 727-835-6566!
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